What we are looking for is the future.. So just throw away yesterday and start fresh.....

It's been so long since I've updated my blog. Bcuz of my useless modem.

That night we argued AGAIN.

Once again, I said we "shud stop here" again.

Yes, at that moment everything wasn't important anymore.

I didn't care whether if I can put down this relationship,

I just want to stop that pain immediately.

"We still can meet and its not the end of the world", you always say to me..

Well, maybe u just dont know how to comfort me so you just said this.

But honestly, I'm emotionally fucked up and stressed out~

Being someone who cares alot is just serious shit...

Cuz I've learnt that when u try to appreciate someone they just dont do it in return,

and its goes the same to how u treat others...

Does he realise how much I hunger for HIS attention..

He may thought I'm happy enough so he doesnt need to satisfy me in any way.

But to make it clear, He's 100% wrong..

I may look like I dont need anything,but honestly..

I'm still a girl.. Easily affected by emotions...

Which made me realize how weak I am when facing u...

It was truly a rough night that night....

The coldness and the silence we had,

We don't talk much now because we're tired to argue again.

I can't imagine how can I possibly ask GOD why did He made me love someone like this..

That night..................................

My world just felt like crashing down.. Just by the thought of u neglecting me..

I just cant endure it....

The way I kept crying to you,but u just hang up on me again n again.

I know, u're tired to listen to my voice...My heart was broken apart......

U were always patient eventho I wasn't in a mood.

U will just keep silence or try to say something to make me smile.

You used to tell me that I made u do stuffs u never did before...

Mayb before we had a few arguments but never like that night.

I tried to hold my tears, I tried to calm myself, but, I have no energy left.

Just felt so tired.

I told myself even if there is still hope, it still wont undo what we're going thru now.

It was one of the worst nights that I had... Struggling to breathe thru all those tears...

But u just dont seem to understand why I'd shed a tear for u...

I know that 10 months isn't really that long,

But everything now is always related to u..

mMmm....

how u tried to make me smile when I lose my temper,

how u smell me n said I smell nice,

how u surprised me that day when u came back from kl that made me cry while bathing,

how u dance when u hear music,

how u pretend to ignore me sometimes.

how u grab me n kiss everytime I get down from ur car.

The times u hold my hand while driving.

The way u hold me n kiss me n said that u love me.

Its all in my head.

So many of these memories............... keep coming back.

That night,

I cried n cried...

That pain..... Is surely something u will never understand.....

You always said that it is me who thinks too much.

I know that u're a sturdy guy..

I just have to admit never in my life I've met such a guy like u...

Such a weird n crazy n 'hot n cold from time to time' guy...

You dont really like to talk to me about ur ups n downs of the day...

I know this is just you..

U always keep things to urself n wud try not to believe anyone if possible just to protect urself...

U dnt really know how to express urself to me most of the time..

Made me felt neglected by u...

But I know that u still love me.

I know u're still the person that I loved from the very beginning...

So I've decided to let go of the hatred n calm down my attitude to start anew..

Sometimes being ur fren is easier, that way u can be more comfortable i guess?...

Well, this is just what I think of..

τΖεγεαηG ❤